Laundry Room Confession

“What are you eating?” my daughters would ask.

“Broccoli”, I’d blurt out, breathing into the space away from them, because I had just been eating a chocolate bar in the laundry room, under cover.

The quizzical looks on their faces were only fleeting and then they were on to the next thing.

Fritos are the worst to hide. I make note in my junk-food-drug induced haze – no chocolate – no Fritos.

One day they will catch on, or maybe they already did.

I hide the things I don’t want them to find. The gummy bears, Swedish fish, even the cookies, I hide in my top dresser drawer in the bedroom. I learned this from my Nana, her top drawer was filled with hard sour cherry candies and licorice whips – black.

I promote healthy eating, eat your greens, drink water, make sure you have high protein – less sugar. But all the while, I am eating pudding and Hershey’s chocolate kisses in my car after a 7am workout.

You health catches up with you when you’re 40.  Maybe I cried a little over the fat and maybe I lifted my chin to say “I don’t care, pass the cake.” But the most dangerous thing in this house is the laundry room.

Maybe I cried a little over the fact that I had to hide it – the awful realization that I hide these secrets from my children while I make them eat their salad and asparagus.

I’ll tell you though, one Spring day, in the laundry room, I was stuffing a few Mallomars in between loads of laundry (really) and I looked over and I realized, “I keep the wine in here.”

Mallomars are only available in the cooler months – at least they used to be. I would stock up and they would last for months, hidden away, rationed through the Summer. I am sure the shipping and transportation has changed so that the “melting months” are less of a restriction – just last week, I noticed that it was mid-Summer and Mallomars are on the shelves at our local Stop and Shop – and it’s July.

Wine and Mallomars. In the laundry room.

You just can’t hide that.


Memory Layne